Sunday, April 09, 2006

i know how you're feeling.

you're scared. you're afraid to feel...what you're starting to feel. the way you felt the very first time you realized....you're good enough for him. let him in. trust him. he might hurt you. but would you be better off without him? the answer is no. i say, take a risk...if you're going to live...live a little bit with him. i see how you act when you're around him. i see how he lights up your life. don't worry about the future. That’s forever and a day. every time he holds you, you shake. i see it. every time he kisses your neck, you smile, because he knows its your favorite thing. because he listens. and he knows. because he cares. you want to care. but last time you cared...you screwed up. you weren't mature then. you've grown a little. It’s ok to take a chance. this one seems like a catch. even if he does worry a little too much. about you liking him.

fall for him.

It’s ok.

let him catch you. i know he will. He’s just that type of guy. he wants to care for you. go ahead. fall head over heels. its the only way. just let it go. i see you hesitating. why? he hasn't given you a reason not to trust him. i know you have a problem with trust. that bubble, ive seen it. the way you push people away, because you hate getting hurt. he says that you can be yourself, but you don't know if hes ready to see the real you, because you're afraid he won't like it. He’s accepting. even if he is a bit shakey right now, deep down you know hed go for you in a heartbeat. you may be the total opposite of everything he’s ever been with, but maybe new is what he needs. That’s you. stop pushing. i know you can't wait to see him. i know that you sit with your phone in your hand. waiting to hear your phone ring...his ring. because you picked it. for him. and only him. i know you sit and daydream about him in every class. i know you want a million and one lazy afternoons. i know you hate cars. and so does he. he gives you something to look forward to. why do you think he does this. what is that feeling you have in your stomach. is it butterflies? is it 'the feeling'? is it what you want to feel? i know you love it. because its the way you feel when you're around him. so don't get mad when he can't be with you for a night. he told you he’d wait for you. and you told him you'd wait for him. he likes honesty. you like that he cares. secretly you love that he is the way he is. he might be afraid to fall for you, but look what he’s given you.

you want to feel wanted. you want him to discover you. you want him to spend hours upon hours, looking into your eyes, for your deepest darkest secret. you want him to find out what makes you tick. you want him to study you. find your strengths. your weakenesses. prepare himself for you. you want him to review you. edit you. claim you. you want him to solve you, like a crossword puzzle. you want him to complete you. put you together. piece by piece. you want him to see you, for you. you want him to analyze you. you want him to break you down. you want him to make an effort. go that extra mile. to earn your trust. you want him emotionally, not just physically. you want him to suffocate you. smother you. with kisses. with hugs. with love. you want him to know the answer before you ask the question. you want him, to want you.

but most of all, you want him to find you. you want him to dig to china, in search of you. you want him to write a book about you. about what he’s discovered. what he’s uncovered. something no one else has ever seen. you want him to find the real you. you want him to send search parties in search of you. you want him to be your knight. you want him to be your rescuer. you want him to be brave enough to travel through waves of emotions just to be with you. you never want to worry about losing him.

you want him to want you.

im proud of you. for knowing that you can handle this. for being patient. this is hard. i know. im happy to see that hes willing to make everything better. he knows everything will get better. after all....he promised, right? im happy that your starting to trust him. day by day. thats how you have to take it. baby steps. grow with him. grow for him. i can see hes starting to fall for you. so let down your guard. take down the caution tape. let yourself out of jail.

let him burst your bubble.

you should let him love you. so don't be afraid to undress your feelings. let him play with them. he'll play nicely. let him take you. aggressively. don't be scared of what you haven't felt in so long. don't be afraid to tell him no. and don't be afraid of getting shot down. but most of all, don't be afraid to trust
crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 6:02 AM

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Tell her you think shes AmAzInG. Tell her why you think shes so amazing. Play with her hair. Talk to her in movie theatres. Snuggle, Hold her hand, and lightly kiss her. Pick her up and pretend youre going to throw her in the river; she'll scream and fight you but secretly, she'll love it. Hold her hand and walk. Hold her hand and run. Just hold her hand. Pick flowers from other people’s YaRdS and give them to her. Tell her she looks beautiful. Introduce her to your friends as "The most amazing girl I know''. Sit in the park and talk to her. Take her to the library, ice skating, playgrounds, and coffee shops. Tell her dirty jokes. Tell her stupid jokes...Whatever it takes to make her LaUgH. Write poems about her. Walk with her, even if its just around the block. Throw pebbles at her window at night. surprise her. do things that make her smile, make her laugh, and make her want to kiss you right on the face. be spontaneous. When she starts yelling at you, tell her you love her. Give her back rubs. Play mud football with her. Play in the snow with her. Let her fall asleep in your arms.Call her... even if its just to say hi. Call her back if she calls you. Jump on the bed with her. Sing to her, no matter how bad you are. Carve your names into a tree. Get her mad, then kiss her. Push her on swings. Give her piggy-back rides. Stay up with her all night. Leave her little unexpected notes.. on the car, or on her door, or in her locker saying how much she means to you. Take her to romantic places and lay out blankets to look at the stars* Make up nicknames for eachother. Show up at her school or class unexpectedly. Send flowers and dorky notes that only you two understand.Teach her guitar. Lend her your cds. Make her cds of songs that remind you of her. Write her letters. If she asks you to go to a show with her, go, even if it means a 5 hour car trip. Go out on a road trip even if theres no destination or you cant be gone long. Take her to cool shops, and let her take you to even cooler ones. Listen to her favorite songs. When shes sad or sick, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if shes not saying anything. Buy her ice cream. Let her take all the pictures of you she wants. Look into her eyes. Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast. Make her a romantic dinner for special days. Remember dates.. even ones like your first kiss or date and surprise her on the anniversary. Kiss her in the rain. Kiss her in the snow... Kiss her when she least expects it.When you fall in love with her, tell her.
crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 10:31 AM

it's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye,
it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry.
it's funny how forever never seems to really last,
it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past.
it's funny how friends can just leave you when you're down,
it's funny how when you need someone they're never around.
it's funny how people change and think they`re so much better,
it's funny how many lies can be packed in one "love letter".
it's funny how people forgive even though they can't forget,
it's funny how one night can contain so much regret.
it's funny how ironic life turns out to be,
but the funniest part of all, none of that's funny to me

yOu NeVeR rEaLLy KnOw WhO yOuR tRuE fRiEnDs ArE uNtiL tEaRs ArE roLLiNg DoWn YoUr ChEeKs. TrUe FriEnDs ArE tHe OnEs WhO aRe ThErE to WiPe YoUr TeArS aNd HoLd YoUr HaNd, eVen ThOuGh ThEy hAvE nO iDeA wHaT's wRoNg. EvErYoNe eLsE jUsT sTaNdS aRoUnD wOnDeRiNg WhAt HaPpEnEd.

We are all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you've been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there's no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. It isn't until you finally run up against your deepest demons-your unsolvable problems- the ones that make you who you truly are- that you're ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you are looking for. You are looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the "right" wrong person- someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, "This is the problem I want to have." I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way."
crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 10:23 AM

sometimes you have to just forget the rules, to follow your heart and see where it takes you...

never apologize for saying what you feel because that's like saying sorry for being real..

never regret anything you said or did because at some point, it was what you wanted..

true strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else is expecting you to fall apart..
crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 9:52 AM

Sunday, March 26, 2006

:p

#1
i find it hard to believe that you're really like that, coz when we're hanging out, you seem okay. but once i turn my back you turn into a completely different person, and it's like you disregard everything we went through. i really like you as a friend and i'm really glad that you are. i have fun hanging out with you (sooo much fun) and i really do enjoy your company more that most people. i feel comfortable telling you stuff, because you're one of the few people who listen and understand, and i know it's gonna be really hard to find someone who can connect with me as much as you can. i miss the old you, when we used to be clean, you know? clean, meaning nothing hidden. i want things to be the way they used to, but it seems like we've grown apart somehow. i do admit that i have my own faults, of course, but doesn't everyone? nobody's perfect and we all know that. sometimes, things are just meant to be that way and we just have to learn to accept people as they are, learn to see past those flaws, and see their positive sides. that's what i decided to do with you, and it really helped me see your good side. the side that everybody likes, and not the side that some people don't. because once you see someone's bad side, you can't help but see all the other negative things too, and you'll end up seeing that side of the person the whole way through, and not the other side that you should learn to appreciate. i know youre thinking "look who's talking" and yea, i do admit that i'm guilty of those things as well. everybody is. and like everyone else, i'm trying to change. everybody has something they should change. you don't know this, but if you only knew, most people used to talk about you and shit, and tell me crap about you. but instead of joining them, i chose not to. i do admit that i used to (and i know you know), but towards the end, the reason why they stopped is because i told them to. i learned to forget and put all those negative things aside (because everybody has those), and appreciate you for who you are and even defended you most of the time. i really like you, you know.. and i want others to like you too, because you really are a great person. that's why they started seeing your good side, too. but nowadays, i find it really hard to ignore the fact that you're not what you appear to be. and i want things between us to be okay, i really do. anyway, thank you for teaching me so much. you may not be aware of it, but you really did. you also helped me realize and understand so many things, and i'm really thankful for that. you're a great person. a great friend. by the way, sorry for everything.

#2
im really thankful that we've grown really close now, and you're one of the best friends i've ever had. of course we have our down moments, but you know what? i'm glad we did. coz it's what made us closer. im glad that we had that "open forum" and told each other all the negative things about each other. (that was a long time ago) thanks for opening up and letting me know those things. i really appreciate it. it's good that now we know, right? and it's also good that now we're not hiding anything anymore. anyway, i'm sure you know that i really enjoy your company, and i feel really really comfortable when i'm with you. it's like i can really be myself without having to worry what you would think, because i know that whatever i do, you won't react negatively. so thanks as in THANKS for that. you don't know how thankful i am that i can tell you anything and everything. thanks for telling me stuff as well, and thanks for always opening up. i really appreciate it :) thanks for always staying with me and hanging out and stuff. basta thanks talaga. and thanks for keeping all the things i tell you, and for listening and even helping me out most of the time.

#3 and #4
im really glad that up to know, we're still really close. it's a shame though, that we don't get to hang out as much anymore, and we don't get to spend that much time together. but even though we only get to hang out once in a while, it's good that we don't grow apart. we've been friends for the longest time, and you guys are the ones that know me most, grew up with me, experienced so many changes with me, met so many friends with me, went through tough times with me, stayed with me, at the very most. thanks for that. i wanna get to spend more time with you guys, and it's a shame that we don't get to do the things we used to do together anymore. i miss that, and i want you to know that those were most of the best times of my life. we've grown together, and i'm sure that my life would have been COMPLETELY different (not to mention lame) if it weren't for you guys. i miss you sooooo much. you have no idea. i know i always say this (almost everyday, actually) but.. I WANNA GO OUT!!!!!!! let's!! :D

#5
you seem to be changing now.. but you're basically still the same person that i learned to appreciate. all the positive stuff are still there but we're noticing that you've become very irritable lately, and a few more. but you're still a great friend :)

#6
first of all, i'm really sorry about the situation, and i want to be able to do something about it but the only person that can fix things is you. running away from things (or people) won't make any difference. and to me, it seems like that's what you're resorting to. it also seems like you're giving up and giving in. you're letting yourself be pushed aside instead of being strong for yourself. anyway, thanks for opening up. i really appreciate the fact that you let me know that, and it's a really good thing you did. but why just now? i mean, you could have told me earlier. but it's ok, i understand that it's hard to do that. basta thanks. thanks for caring so much and for everything else you've done for me. thanks for reminding me to do all the stuff i should do, for staying with me when i need company, for doing so much favors for me even though it was such a hassle for you, and for simply being one of the nicest people i've ever met. i want you to know that you're a great person, and you shouldn't let other people make you feel bad about yourself, or make you feel that you're not good enough or worthy of anything. don't be scared of other people, and don't let yourself get intimidated to the point where you just let them scare you and crap. wag kang magpapatalo. you have to believe in yourself, and know that you can do anything as long as you put your mind to it. don't let your fears stop you because nothing will ever happen to you, and you won't be able to reach anything if you just let every intimidation get to you. also remember that you will always find people who care, and will help you get through anything. who are always there for you, believing in you even though you don't even believe in yourself.. who will stay strong for you even though you're doubting yourself.. who will constantly stay with you when you simply don't want to be alone. just believe in yourself, just as everyone else believes in you. you have to learn to be strong, because you really are.. and you have every reason to be.

#7
i miss you :p

**ayan.. ang boring kasi, nagdrama tuloy ako dito.. anyway, un lang naman..

**chill
crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 3:40 AM

sunday is lame..

gahd ang boring ngayon!!! all i did was watch tv and eat.. buhay baboy nanaman. wala kasing training eh. oh well :p
i watched espn tas gymnastics tas woooooaaaah!!!! ang galing!!! nakakainspire hehe i wanna go to gym NOW!! poof!! yekk labo. haha :p
ate's home yay!! nanood kaming nanny mcphee. it was nice :) grabe kagabi nastuck ako sa katips for hours after gym, kasi mga 11 na ata ako nasundo eh 6 kami dumating sa katips, so wow. musta ka naman dun, crissy. ah ok lang naman.. nagstay ako sa mcdo then lumipat sa 7-11, then lumipat sa seattles best para maki-charge. hihiÜ wais!! so mukha akong ewan dun. lahat ng tao naglalaptop, tas ako.. nagchacharge. hehe :p
kakatapos nga lang pala ng prom! twas ok, pero we spent most of our rime na nakapila sa labas para sa picture taking. and sakit sakit na ng paa nun, considering na hindi pa ganun kataas heels ko. pano pa kaya ung iba?? haha! goodluck nalang.. if you wanna see the pics, go to my multiply . it's linked.

la na kong masabi. hehe =p bye!

**chill
crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 3:15 AM

Sunday, March 19, 2006

emotions survey
[anger]
what makes you really mad?:	pag najejebs na ko at walang tissue. grrr.
do you have a bad temper?:	not really
do you swear when you are mad?:	haha ya
do you yell or hit people when you are mad?:	ay hindi naman
have you ever made someone cry?:	yes :p
how often do you get mad?:	depends
[jealousy]
are you a jealous person?:	not really
what makes you jealous?:	selos ba ito?
how often do you get jealous?:	i don't usually
who are you jealous of?:	wala naman
how do you act when you get jealous?:	ang kulit mo ah
do you get mad at the people you are jealous of?:	sige lang
[sadness]
are you a sad person?:	nope :D
what makes you sad?:	pag walang load? haha
how often are you sad?:	hmm.. ewan
do you cry a lot?:	no
do you cry on your friends?:	not really
have you cried in public?:	hindi pa naman
[happiness]
are you a happy person?:	oh yes :D
how often are you happy?:	very often. kahit sad, happy ako.. haha labo nun ah :p
what makes you happy?:	lotsa things..
who makes you happy?:	shempre friends..
how do you act when you are happy?:	edi masaya..
what makes you happiest in your life?:	marami eh
[hate]
what do you hate?:	fake.
do you hate anyone?:	wala naman
does anyone hate you?:	do you hate me? haha
do you have a hate list?:	doesn't everyone?
what kind of people do you hate?:	fake.
what kind of music do you hate?:	umm pirated? haha labo
[love]
have you ever loved anyone/been in love?:	oo naman. family.. and friends. yihee :">
have you ever told someone you loved them?:	of course
how many times have you been in love?:	shempre forever ko mahal pamilya ko
what is love?:	ay jologs.. autograph book ka? haha
have you ever loved someone so much you'd die for them?:	wow ang tindi nun! haha
has anyone told you they loved you?:	oo naman
[self esteem]
how is your self-esteem over all?:	ayos lang..
do you love yourself?:	aba shempre!! :"> kinilig naman ako dun
do you think you are attractive?:	magnetic!
have you ever wanted to kill yourself?:	ay wag naman sana..
have you ever harmed yourself?:	haha yah :p
are you happy with who you are?:	yea
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 7:58 AM

Friday, March 17, 2006

20 REQUIREMENTS OF A FOXY HOTT SUGAH DADDY

Friday, March 17, 2006

1 must be FOXY HOTT
2 must NOT be a daddy
3 must be this good at playing the guitar
4 must be musically inclined :P
5 must be smart (and do all our homework -crissy)
6 must be generous (aka rich)
7 must NOT be possessive
8 must be ridiculously good at sports
9 must be taller than us
10 must be fun and must have a good sense of humor
11 must NOT be perverted
12 must know how to dress
13 be unexpectedly sweet
14 know how to cook really well
15 know how to drive
16 follow our every command
17 be torpe but not too much (according to crissy)
18 stay up with us until we fall asleep
19 know how to dance
20 get along with our friends (and families)


in short, if you want to be our boyfriend, you must be a HOTT slave. :))
crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 5:39 AM

survey.. bored

A survey that you will remember
The Last Person You...
thought about?:	hmm.. hahaha
Looked at?:	mother dearest
said I love you to?:	hahaha. you? i love you.. so yea you
hugged?:	crew group hug :)
kissed?:	hahaha. you? mmwah.. so yea you
hurt?:	ina *spanky spanky you're being naughty! :))
Shared a secret with?:	berns and ina
watched a movie with?:	berns and ina
couldn't stop thinking about?:	hmm.. hahaha
In your family...
Who makes you laugh?:	charm (sis)
Who makes you cry?:	hmm.. nobody from my family
Who is strict?:	father dear
Who is laid back:	mother dear
Who makes you think?:	brother dear
Who will do anything for you?:	all of them.. aww.. hehe =p
Have you ever?
been skinnydipping?:	hah!! no
Made a friend mad?:	ya, all the time :))
gotten a detention?:	tinatanong pa ba yan?? of course! =p
gotten expelled?:	ah hindi naman
threw popcorn in a movie theatre?:	haha yea!! again again!!
been on stage?:	ya :D
seen a famous person?:	ya i just look at the mirror.. duh
been pantsed by a friend?:	what the hell..
lost your voice?:	yah.. haha
You are...
best at?...:	ballet.. haha!!! dream on =p
worst at?...:	lots.. haha
Random
profession?:	chef :D
best friend?:	gizelle
Favorite movie star?:	shempre myself.
idol?:	american idol? haha labo
hair color?:	brown
favorite movie?:	uhhh.. uuhhh
have you ever been in LOVE?:	hahaha i'm in love with lotsa people (berns, ina, moo, rash are a few =p)
favorite color?:	bluuuuuuuuue
have you ever done a bad impersonation of Arnold Scshwartsenagger:	i do a good impression, actually. so, no. haha whatever crissy
best memory?:	memory..zation.. nyekk corny
worst memory?:	memory..zation
favorite band?:	rubber band
can you do the worm?:	haha! nope.. i've tried though =p
did you like this survey?:	does this survey like me? :">
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 5:36 AM

....hwaaaaaaaaa???........

if you think i'm like this... you're like THIS.
.what's up with you.

tupperware is full of shit =p ..uh-huh..
crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 5:14 AM

Sunday, February 26, 2006

saints and sailors- dashboard

This is where I say I've had enough
And no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises
And I don't believe that I'm getting any better
.Any better.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

Wandering this house like I've never wanted out
And this is about as social as I get now.
And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you
Cause they would never do, I would never do.
Never

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful thingsI
'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

So don't be a liar
Don't say that
"everything's working"
when everything's broken.
And you smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor
And your eyes say the jokes on me.

But, I'm not laughing
You're not leaving
Who do I think I am kidding?
When I'm the only one locked in this hell

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And I'm thinking awful things
I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

So don't be a liar
Don't say that "everything's working"
when everything's broken.
And you smile like a saint but you curse like a sailor
And your eyes say the jokes on me.
crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 7:08 AM

Monday, February 20, 2006

hmmmm...

crissykiti yea POP it like it's HOTT, feel the music.. 5:25 AM